whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
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