I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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