Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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