You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
