I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
