sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
