My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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