Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Oh god it's open bar.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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