I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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