I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize