is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
