She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Use "feeling words"
Yay
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
