make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
No I am not eating basil off your cock
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
You need Xanax blowdarts
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
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