we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize