Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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