I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
there was a trapeze. enough said
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
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