i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
