I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I want a musical about memes.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize