I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
