Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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