yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
