you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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