My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize