i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
