I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
