Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
