Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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