Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
And then he peed in my hair
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