No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize