someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
