its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Randomize
