I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
