I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
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