His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
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