i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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