I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
