This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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