His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
