If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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