So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize