Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
