Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
