Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
