Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize