Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
