I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
