Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Randomize
