Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
