Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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