Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
