hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
just tell him i said nine months
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
