All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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