apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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