Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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