Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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