I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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