I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
