Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
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