the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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