We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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