We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
