it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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