How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize