So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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