bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Randomize
