So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
