you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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