i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Help me help you realize you are a moron
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
