when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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